Grandpa

A little girl ran up to her grandpa, jumped up into his arms and gave him a big hug. Then she ran her fingers along his balding head and down the side of his wrinkled face. “Did God make you, grandpa?” asked the little girl.

“Yes, honey He made me.”

She felt her own cheek and then asked, “Did God make me too?”

“Yes, honey, He made you too.”

“Well,” she shrugged, “don’t you think He is doing a better job now than He used to?”

Be Strong Be Confident!

“If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life; and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’”

— Ann Landers

Always expect the best — but be prepared for the worst. It’s not the circumstances in life that are important, it’s how you respond to them — it’s your choices that count. Regardless of what other people, regardless of what they say about you, regardless of the troubles and difficulties which may come your way, it’s your attitude and your response that will make the difference in how you handle each situation. And as long as you have a choice, you can be bold and confident — you can make it work for you. You can win! Press on!

There Is No Such Thing

as a dumb blonde. I will prove it with the following: A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan. So the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely. But we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

A smart blonde, didn’t expect THAT, did you??

A New Tag For Migratory Birds

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated:

Wash. Biol. Surv. Until the agency received the following letter from a South Carolina camper:

“Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible.” The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

Government Workers

A man stopped at the local Cricket gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole. The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road.

“I can’t stand this,” said the man tossing the can into a recycle container and heading down the road toward the men. “Hold it, hold it,” he said to the men. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with all this digging and refilling?”

“Well, we work for the government and we’re just doing our job,” one of the men said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You’re not accomplishing anything. Aren’t you wasting the taxpayers’ money?”

“You don’t understand, mister,” one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. “Normally there’s three of us: me, Bubba, and Leroy. I dig the hole, Bubba sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back. Bubba’s job’s been cut so now it’s just me an’ Leroy.”

Birthdays

We have some real special birthdays this week. Ruth Anne Anthony is having her birthday today, Thursday, Feb. 28 while Carol Moore is one year younger because her birthday is on Feb. 29 and we don’t have a Feb. 29 this year. Would that be on Thursfriday?? A special, one-of-a-kind birthdays to Miss Carol who has found the “fountain of youth.”

Meanwhile, J. R. LaPierre, Jimmy Smith, Vera Ray, and Wanda Ward are having their birthdays on Friday, March 1; Dee Anthony and Kathy Orr on Saturday, March 2; Christie Caputo (our daughter) and Brandi Goins on Sunday, March 3; and Sandra Marks on Tuesday, March 5.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EVERYONE!!!

Happy Anniversary To

Kevin and Kelly Shropshire, Jimmy and Vonnie Smith on Friday, March 1; Jimmy and Rhonda Blair, Leon and Edna Davis are celebrating their day of true love on Sunday, March 3; Phillip and Lyndia Fisher on Tuesday, March 5. A special congratulations to these wonderful people.

Congratulations To

Peggy Medford Bobo and Boyce Jackson Johnson for being united in holy matrimony on Valentine’s Day, February 14, at the Buffalo Opry House. They are living at their home at 134 Spring Valley Lane, in Buffalo. Congratulations on your special celebration!

Prayer Concerns

Let’s pray for Jimmy Belk who is recuperating at the Spartanburg Hospital Rehab. Center. Also, let’s keep Jeff Dyson in our prayers as he awaits a liver for a transplant. I hear that Lois Williams is in Wallace Thompson Hospital and Mary Pettit is at Oakmont Home. Let’s keep the family of Eric Sullivan who died on February 25 in our prayers. Mr. Little Glenn Sullivan of Buffalo is his brother.

My Thoughts: Doctors

I just received some surprising statistics about doctors, medicine, and American citizens. Did you know that the number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000? Did you know that accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000? Did you know that accidental deaths per physician is 0.171? These statistics were sent to me by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Now let’s think about guns. Did you know that the number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that’s 80 million)? Did you know that the number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500? Did you know that the number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188? These statistics courtesy of FBI.

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, “Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.” The fact is that not everyone has a gun, but almost everyone has at least one doctor. This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! Out of concern for the public at large, We withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

Thought Of The Week

“A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and you don’t have one, you probably won’t ever need one again.”

Another Thought To Think About

“Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.” Anyone knows what this means???

If You Have Good News

Email me at cap9296@aol.com, call me at 864-424-9211, mail me at POB 128, Buffalo. Until next week, may God bless you richly. Until next week, may God bless you richly.