One day Sis returned to her car after shopping to find four men leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun and screamed, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it. Get out of that car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. Sis, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then realized why. It was for the same reason there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer on the backseat.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down the same aisle of the parking lot. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses, teased hair and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed against Sis this time.
Aesop Call Your Office
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
When Hoyt Didn’t Read The Instructions
During my two week follow-up appointment, I told the good old doc. I was having trouble with one of my medications.
“Which one?”… the doctor asked.
‘The patch; the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’
He had me quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn’t see.
Yes, I had over 50 patches on my body!
When we got home Sis decided to read the instructions, it said remove of the old patch before applying a new one.
Cooter Knox graduated from the Police Academy on Friday, I know he is so happy to be home and have this training behind him.
He works at the County Jail; they gave him a shirt that says, You Bring ‘em, We Book ‘em.
Hope you don’t see him at work anytime soon!
One preacher was using an illustration in his sermon about how ducks or geese when they fly in formation how one duck flies a certain way to break the wind.
Challenging the saints to do their part in the service he says, ” Church, let’s all stand and break wind!”
Whoo! That one went over real good, everyone roared in laughter.
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong sermon on the devil.
One said to the other, “What do you think about all this Satan stuff?”
“Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It’s probably just dad,” he replied.
Did you know that on Oct. 23, the U.S.A. gas price increased?
The price of gas increased by 400 percent and long queues at gas stations during the 1973 oil crisis caused by the war in the Middle East and OPEC cutting oil supplies as a way of forcing the rest of the world to stop support for Israel. Toyota, who had specialized in making smaller fuel efficient cars, holds its first national news conference in Los Angeles, California extolling the remarkable fuel efficiency of Toyota cars, the average American Car gave 15 MPG whereas the Japanese cars were achieving 25 MPG Plus. This provided the major Japanese manufacturers the springboard needed to make significant inroads into both the American and European cars markets. The year was 1973, now, you know.
Dennis Robinson, Rev. Alan West, L.C. Johnson, Bo Inman, Bruce Brassington, and Mary Hitt.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
Till next time