Some of the things we say really aren’t so smart after all. I picked these up on home.capecod.net and added a few comments of my own.

I am in shape. Round is a shape. A pear is a shape. A blob is a shape.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. They have a half-life of plutonium.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. The key is to keep putting time on the clock. The "beauty" is being alive.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic, the bail-out plan, the federal budget, Social Security, Medicare, the Department of Education and all the rest.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Spoils all the fun.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Action is so expensive few want to "spend" it.

Stupidity got us into this mess ... why can’t it get us out? Well, congress and the administration are doing just that. TARP. Bailout.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. That's what education is all about. If you aren’t moving ahead, you’re falling behind if not being run over.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly ... and for the same reason. Some call it "term limits." Others call it the election box. But, we loony voters are all for changing the "diapers" i.e. the politician, in another state, rather than our own, and simply hold our nose.

I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Nowhere isn’t all that interesting except to a rock.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it. It kills me when motels brag about a "free" continental breakfast. Look if I drive to Spartanburg, pull up in front of a motel offering such a deal, go in, eat, leave and head to Texas, that's free. But if you stay there, dude, it’s not free.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge. That's not actually a dumb saying. It’s true. There’s almost always a cost to those who go first.

If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. Did Yogi Berra say that?

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

I am a nutritional overachiever. See "I’m in shape" above.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out-of-money experience. That's not dumb, either. Twenty percent of our neighbors know what that means.

I plan on living forever. As a Christian, I do.

I’m not afraid of heights, just afraid of widths. Yeah, like walking a four-inch board 60 feet in the air versus a four-inch board two inches in air.

Practice safe eating; always use condiments. Texas Pete?

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were, though. If it’s true, it’s not bragging.

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. I’ll take your word for it.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. I’m a card carrying optimist. But, on my best day, looking around at our crumbling society, my can see that my Optimist's Card is rapidly disintegrating.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. Probably not, given how much people know about history.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Oh, oh, now I get it. I had it backwards.

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.