I Am A Christian

This is the year 2013. It is a fresh start. I recently discovered the following and want to share it with you.

I am a Christian.

When I say that “I am a Christian,” I am not shouting that “I am clean living.” I’m whispering “I was lost, but now I am found and forgiven.”

When I say “I am a Christian,” I do not speak of this with pride. I am confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I am not trying to be strong. I am professing that I am weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I am not bragging of success. I am admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I am not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say “I am a Christian,” I am not holier than thou. I am just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow!

When I say “I am a Christian,” I say it because Christ lives in me and I live through Him. Yes, I am a Christian and I would like for you to a Christian also.

Laws That We Live By

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Men Are Just Happier People

Following is more information that will help our wives and girlfriends to better understand us in this new year 2013. NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing! Ladies, I know that you have a sense of humor because you are married to us men. And men, I hope that you enjoyed these “tidbits” of truth. Have a great day, now.

Birthdays

I received this birthday too late, but I still want to wish Kevin M. Jeter a great and happy birthday that he had on Wednesday, Jan 9.

Celebrating birthdays this week are: Nell Helton on Thursday, Jan. 10; Evelyn Crisp on Friday, Jan. 11; Lisa Morris on Saturday, Jan. 12; Norma Summer on Tuesday, Jan. 15; and Catherine Finch on Wednesday, Jan. 16.

Happy Birthday to these very special folks.

Our Condolences

Mr. Hubert Dean Greer, 78, husband of Linda Harmon Greer, 720 Sardis Road, Union, passed away Monday, Jan. 7, 2013 at his home after a period of declining health. Let’s keep Mrs. Greer and a special nephew, Butch Dill of Union in our daily prayers.

My Thoughts

A deputy knocked on my door the other day and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes!

Thought Of The Week

“A nation of sheep, breeds a government of wolves”

If You Have Good News

Email me at cap9296@aol.com, call me at 864-424-9211, mail me at POB 128, Buffalo. Until next week, may God bless you richly. Until next week, may God bless you richly.