Christmas is a time for fun and enjoyment. The entire family gathers together and emotions run high as we rush about. While in our regular scheduled life, we least have the time for any kind of humor or wittiness, festive occasions are the right time to cash in on the funny side of everyone. Just as we know laughter is the best medicine, what better way to make others laugh than with a few short stories. So this is what I came up with to make you laugh today.
However, please remember to keep Christ in Christmas; He is the reason for the season! Enjoy your family and friends, have fun, laugh with each other, but be thankful that Jesus was born in Bethlehem so many years ago. Read the Christmas Story from the Bible, in which Joseph and Mary, as part of a census, travel to Bethlehem, where Jesus was born and laid in a manger. Read Mathew 1:18-25 and Luke 2:1-7.
Sis And The Power Of The Bible
Some time back Sis was returning home from a Thursday mid-week service at Foster’s Chapel church. As she unlocked her door, an intruder startled her.
She caught the man in the very act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled,
“STOP! Acts 2:38!”
The burglar stopped in his tracks.
The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer handcuffed the man to take him to jail, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was quote a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “I thought the lady had an axe and two 38s!”
Truthful Reflection
Last Christmas Eve, Mike Scales thought it would be nice to buy his wife Susan a little gift for Christmas morning. Always short of time, he thought long and hard about what that present might be’
Unable to decide, Mike went to Belk and in the cosmetics section he asked the clerk, ‘How about some perfume?’ She showed him a bottle costing $150.
“Too expensive,” muttered Mike.
The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for $50.
“Oh dear,’”Mike said, “still far too much.”
Growing rather annoyed at Mike’s ways, the sales girl brought out a tiny $10 bottle and offered it to him.
Mike became really agitated, “What I mean’, he said, ‘is I’d like to see something really cheap.”
So the sales girl handed him a mirror.
Susan did not get any perfume last year; I think she ended up with a truck load of turkeys! I just wonder what Mike has planned for her this year. When you see him … make suggestions!
Clever Idea
Harold Lloyd Thompson says the best way to double your money is to fold it!
Thanks EMS Workers
Sorry, I was late getting my column in this week; I have been in and out of the hospital these pasted few weeks.
I’ve been joking about buying an ambulance to save money. The down side to that is it would not come with the nice EMS workers we have in Union County. Thanks to the EMS workers for the ride; it was quite a bumpy ride to Sparkle City but I had great care!
At The Hospital
Once in a room at SRMC a nice nurse gave me some blood by IV, before I knew it another nurse came, with seven tubes and took just about all of the blood they put in me right back out of my arm. I just wonder sometimes. I met and saw many nice folks at the hospital, thanks for the wonderful care. I am feeling much better and would like to thank you all for the prayers, cards and phone calls.
Tomatoes
El Moe took good care of things around the house while I was away, I think he even planted some tomato plants, he thought it would be nice to have some fresh tomatoes for Christmastime to make Christmas slaw. The recipe is below.
Christmas Slaw Recipe
6 3/4 cups chopped cabbage
1 1/4 cups chopped ripe tomatoes
1/2 cup mayonnaise
salt and pepper
Directions
Dice tomatoes and combine with cabbage, and mayonnaise, mix together, salt and pepper to taste. Makes 8 1- cup servings
Strange Disease, Stranger Cure
My friend, Mr. Cambo Robinson is suffering with a severe case of collimodgus. I told him to try some Castor Oil, wine and Jell-O. It works at our house. Cam is also known as Benedict Arnold.
Prayer Concerns
Bruce Brassington, Jessica Gallman, Ruby Pollard, Kim Peay, Ruth Crayne, Lib Flower, Ken Sanders, I.G. Vanderford, Ricky Thompson, David Eaves and Wayne Eaves.
Santa Shop
Medi-Home Hospice will again sponsor a Santa Shop for the residents of Ellen Sagar Nursing Home. The event will be held Thursday, Dec. 13, at 2:30 p.m. at Ellen Sagar.
Some of the items on the wish list are: bath items, notebooks, purses, PJs, pens, chap stick, tissues, books, puzzles, large print activity books, baby dolls, notecards, socks, slippers, shawls, caps, cookies, denture tablets, throws, gloves, twin bed sheets, sugar-free candy and so much more.
Please call Jenny Crocker, Volunteer Coordinator, at 864-427-8322 or 864-426-3646 for more information.
Football
State Champs (4A) 1990,1995
State Champs (3A) 1999, 2000, 2002
I was pulling for the Union County Jackets on December 1 at the State Championship game in Columbia.
Maybe next year! We are proud of our football team! Go Jackets!
Christmas Club
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
Wisdom
Life is 10 percent what you make of it and 90 percent how you take it.
Till Next Time
— Hoyt
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