Sis went to her doctor because she had this rash on the inside of her legs that was driving her crazy. She could hardly walk to the mailbox. After a thorough examination, the nice doctor told her that she was too fat and her legs were rubbing together when she walked. He put her on a diet and wants her to lose 200 pounds.
Special Person Of The Week
Pea Ridge News wishes to thank all the employees of the Union Post Office on collecting 3 tons of food during the Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive. Participating in this annual event was the NALC and the rural carriers. Postmaster Robert Fowler helped to make this event a success, therefore, Mr. Robert Fowler is our Special Person of The Week.
A Special Thank You
I want to thank all my friends and neighbors that offered their gifts, cards, visits and prayers during my recent stay in the hospital. I got lots of friends that love me and likewise, I love them.
Godspeed
We, the folks at Fosters Chapel and Bethlehem UMC wish to bid farewell and goodbye to our preacher, Rev. Christopher Greene. We wish Rev. Chris Godspeed in his new assignment. He will be leaving in June. I will bring you up to snuff as we get closer to getting a new preacher.
A Reminder
Did you check your smoke detector battery? I asked you to do this a few weeks back. Some of you did, but some did not, so do it now!
Fact
Did you know that on Tuesday May 29, 1953, Sir Ed Hillary conquered Mt. Everest? Now, you know.
Insight
Ralph Harris says: Tact is the ability to make a person see the lightning without him feeling the bolt.
Prayer Concerns
Trey Newton, Don Davis, Hot Shot Farr, Mickey Crayne, Donald Farr, Dot Gault, Rev. Allan West, Ruby Helms, and James Farr.
Guitarism
Guitar Thompson says: Appendix and tonsils ain’t all bad. They keep the doctors busy.
Mood Altering Wardrobe
J.D. Bright says: It is almost impossible to be in a bad mood when you are wearing bright red pants.
Need A Smoke Alarm?
Do you live in the Kelly-Kelton Fire District? If you do and need a smoke alarm, call Hoyt at 674-5685.
Interesting Advice
Do you want to have a good day? Want to feel like a million dollars? Try this. While reading the Union Daily Times and the Pea Ridge News, get you a R.C. Cola and a moon pie. Do not alter from the menu. Do not substitute. You will feel good all day. Try it!
Anniversary
Cooter and Marie Knox celebrated their anniversary. Some say they went to Carowinds, took Emma Hope to the Cheesecake Factory.
A Reason To Quit
Do you still smoke? Please stop it. I read where second hand smoke (used smoke) killed 400,000 people last year. Let’s say that one half of that would have voted for me (President) that would be 200,000 more votes I would get.
Father’s Day
Don’t forget, June 17 is Father’s Day. Take Dad out for a nice meal, then some ice cream. No neckties please.
Kept Waiting Too Long
I love the folks at Spartanburg Regional Hospital. The doctors, nurses, the staff and all others are so nice. But there is absolutely no excuse to keep emergency room patients waiting all day and half the night for services. This is 2012, not 1812.
Another Anniversary
Evans and Jennie Crocker celebrated an Anniversary on May 15t. Evans took Jennie on a Pacific Ocean cruise at Buffalo Seafood Restaurant, then back to where do de Cooter crawl.
Wisdom
Big shots are only little shots who kept on shooting.
— Dale Carnegie
Til next time
— Hoyt
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