A Letter To The Devil

Have you ever wanted to write a letter to the devil? Many times I have wanted to. If I do write a letter, this is probably what I would say.

Dear Devil,

Yes, I once belonged to you with all your evil ways. But since I accepted Jesus, He has really changed my ways. Jesus teaches me to love, but you want me to hate.

You old snake. Why do you keep coming back. You’re not welcome anymore. I can’t seem to remember, why I let you in before. The things I’ve done wrong in my life, I’ve done because of you. But all of that has changed now, since I’ve let my Savior through. Still you keep on interfering, with things I do and say, wanting me to take you back, interrupting me when I try to pray. But now I plead the blood of Jesus, to banish you away. And I ask His love and patience, to help me through the day.

Can’t you see that you have lost since God came through my door. He lives within my very heart, so go and come no more. Do not try to remind me of my past. Because when you do, I will remind you of your future and the hell that you are going to. So go, get out, and leave me alone, because I now belong to Jesus and He is going to take me home.

How Slow Can You Go?

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five little old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the backseat — wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand. I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir! I was doing the speed limit exactly — 22 miles an hour!” the old woman says quite proudly.

The state police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned sheepishly and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer says with concern.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119.”

Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.”

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need: tower, elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico City and begin to set up in the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. After they have everything ready, they decide to give the crowd a demonstration.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, the second guy isn’t able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding.

Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up — he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, “What happened? Was the cord too long?”

The first guy replies, “No, the cord was fine. What the heck is a pinata?”

Birthdays

Oops, my bad. Mick Fleming had a birthday last Saturday, Oct. 15, but no one told me. Will not forget next year.

Celebrating their birthday this week is Ruth Gregory and Norma Henderson on Friday, Oct. 21; Anne Moore on Saturday, Oct. 22; Donna Sue Greene and Joan B. Lawson on Monday, Oct. 24; Claudia Hammett, JoAnne Haney, and Tabitha Kendrick on Tuesday, Oct. 25.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”

Did You Hear?

Buffalo is a pretty rural area. I guess if you count our stoplights, you would have to say that we are REALLY a rural area. The other day a neighbor was telling me that he had a friend from the city visiting him. As they were talking about the number of deer that “roam” the Buffalo area, the guest from the city said that the county should remove the DEER CROSSING sign on my neighbor’s road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! He doesn’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

Prayer Concerns

There are many, many people in our community and county suffering from a virus that is going around. I know because I have “enjoyed” this virus for over a week now. And it is no fun, at all. Let’s pray for healing for our loved ones and especially the young and elderly, who are especially vulnerable.

Anniversaries

Celebrating their sixth anniversary last Saturday, Oct. 15, was Adam and Monica Perkins. They celebrated with a Carolina win over Kentucky. Go Cocks! Oops, did I say that? As I always say, “better late than never.”

So, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE PERKINS!

Are You An Observing Person?

Do you consider yourself to be a person who carefully observes the things around you? Here is an “Observation Exam” that will test your powers of observation. Folks, this is a “timed test” … so you have only “3 minutes” to complete the test. Be sure to time yourself. Ready? Let’s do it!

1) Read everything carefully before doing anything.

2) Put your name in the upper right hand corner of this paper.

3) Circle the word “name” in sentence 2.

4) Draw 5 small squares in the upper left hand corner.

5) Put an “X” in each square.

6) Sign your name under the title of this article.

7) Put a circle completely around sentence number 7.

8) Put an “X” in the lower left hand corner of this article.

9) Draw a triangle around the “X” you have just put down.

10) On the back of this paper, multiply 703 by 12.

11) Draw a rectangle around the word “corner” in sentence 4.

12) On the reverse side of this paper add 8950 and 9805.

13) Put a circle around your answer, and put a square around your answer, and put a square around the circle.

14) Underline all even numbers in this test.

15) Now that you have finished reading everything carefully, do only sentences one and two.

How did you do???

My Thoughts

Each weekend for the last seven weekends, I have watched Carolina and Clemson playing football. I was blessed with seats on the 50-yard seats, hat’s right. With my BIG television, I watched the games from the best seats in the stadium.

I noticed that at every game, both the Carolina fans and the Clemson fans were completely crazy with enthusiasm, support of their teams, and just hollered until their voices quit. As I watched, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if our church service on Sunday morning would have that same crazy enthusiasm, support for the church, the church “team” witnessing and ministering to the lost, and just praising God until our voices quit?

Guess what? The Bible tells us that we WILL HAVE that unbridled joy when we are together as a family in Heaven. We will be praising God, singing God’s songs, and have that family joy and love for each other. Whew! I am happy for that, and if you are a member of the Family of God, you can be happy also. So, the next time you watch those fans acting excited, remember that our excitement is yet to come.

Those are my thoughts.

Now This Is Being Tired

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says “Well, that’s great, that’s just great. Some idiot’s got my pen!!

Thought of the Week

May you always have … Love to share, Health to spare, and Friends that care!

If You Have Good News

When you see, hear, or make news, email your news to me at cap9296@aol.com, call me at 864-424-9338, mail your news to me at POB 128, Buffalo, or stop me on the street. When you celebrate good things in your life, I would like to share that with the good people of Buffalo.

Until next week, may God bless you richly.