Hotel Replaces Bible With ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

The following is not specifically news about Buffalo because we do not have any hotels or motels. But the following should be interesting because it shows the possible coming future in America.

A hotel has replaced their Gideon Bibles with the erotic bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. The Damson Dene Hotel in the Lake District of England has made the change in all 40 guest rooms.

Hotel owner Jonathan Denby explained: “Tonight millions of women will be curling up in bed with a good book and you can bet your life it won’t be the Bible. More likely than not it will be Fifty Shades of Grey. I haven’t read the book yet — I’m not in the target audience — but I’m told it’s a ripping good yarn and everyone who’s in the target audience loves it. This made me wonder about the sense of providing a book, the Gideon Bible, which no one reads, and many dislike, in the bedside cabinet of our hotel rooms, instead of a book which everyone wants to read.”

Today in England, four times as many Muslims go to mosque on Friday as Christians go to church on Sunday. A Muslim is now head of religious programming for the BBC; the previous person in that role was agnostic. Christian adoption agencies are now forbidden from considering sexual orientation when enlisting adoptive parents.

We may think the demise of Christianity in Great Britain can’t happen in America, but we’d be wrong. The number of atheists and agnostics in this country has quadrupled in the last 20 years and now outnumbers Episcopalians two-to-one. The fastest-growing religious demographic in America is the “non-religious.” Statistics have shown that the vast majority of America’s churches are on a plateau or declining.

A Buffalo Story

One of our longtime Buffalo residents called me the other night and shared this joke with me and I want to share it with all of my readers. It goes like this:

One day this elderly man was walking on the “Flats” when he came upon a small boy sitting on the curb crying. The elderly gentleman asked the boy why he was crying. The boy said that “I am crying because I am afraid of the older boys.” Upon hearing this the elderly man gently sat down beside the boy and started crying also.

A Prayer For Our Times

Recently, my friend James Lancaster sent an email with this prayer inside. I think that it is a prayer worthy of printing for my readers. If you think also, please share it with a friend and wave to me when you see me around town, okay?

Hi Lord, it’s me. We’re getting older and things are getting bad here. Energy, health care and food costs are too high, no jobs now, and the future doesn’t look good. I know some have taken you out of our schools, government, veterans’ funerals, and even Christmas. But Lord I’m asking you to come back and re-bless America. We really need you! As you know, there are more of us who want you than those who don’t! Thank You Lord, I Love you.

Don’t Croak!

Psychics can be dangerous. If you do not believe me, read on … A lonely frog telephoned the psychic hotline and asked what his future holds. His personal psychic told him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled. “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” he croaks. “No,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”

A Special Happy Anniversary

goes to a very special couple, Holmes and Helen Bishop, who are celebrating their love for each other on Saturday, Aug. 11. We all want to join in together and wish you A HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Birthdays

I do not want to miss anyone on his/her birthday. I found out after this journal went to the press that Shyann Rakestraw’s birthday was on Tuesday, Aug. 7. Celebrating their birthday this week are Jean Dent and Kenneth Howell on Saturday, Aug. 11; Janice Babb and Nick Davis on Sunday, Aug. 12; Len Caldwell and Travis Smith on Monday, Aug. 13; and Kevin Farmer on Tuesday, Aug. 14. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE AND ALL!

Our Condolences

Mr. Alvin Benton Harris, 47, husband of Holly Lawson, 175 Stevens Road, Buffalo, SC, passed away suddenly Friday, Aug. 3, 2012 at his home. Mr. Harris was born in Union, SC, Nov. 14, 1964, a son of Donald Fred Harris, Sr. of Union and Judy Stephenson Harris of Buffalo. He was of the Baptist Faith.

Senior Moments

You know, being a Senior Citizen has many moments of laughter that those younger folks do not have. I have heard many Senior Moments in my short life as a Senior. So here is one of those SENIOR MOMENTS: “I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.”

Where We Came From

A young boy one day went up to his father and asked, “Daddy were did people come from.” His dad responded, “Well son, back in the early ages we evolved from apes which we finally turned into humans.” The boy seemed satisfied with this. About a week later he went to his Mother and said, “Mommy, where did people come from?” She told him the story of Adam and Eve. He said, “Well daddy said we came from apes.” “Oh honey that’s easy,” she said. “He was explaining to you his side of the family and I was explaining to you my side of the family.”

Top 10 Human Fears

I want to make an awesome assumption: I believe that every human has fears of many kinds. Did you know that a baby is born with only two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All of the other fears are learned as we grow. “So, what are the Top Ten Human Fears beside the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises?”

Here they are: Losing your freedom; the unknown; pain; disappointment; misery; loneliness; ridicule; rejection; death; and failure. Wow, that about sums it up, doesn’t it? I can identify with so many of those.

How about you? Actually, what’s “funny” is that some on that list are worse to me than death. Lifelong failure, for one, is something I would rather die than face. But really, beneath that fear of failure is the fear of not being loved; since to me, the point of success is to get people to love and value me. Growing up, I thought that my worth came from succeeding, so I always tried so hard to do everything right.

I also had the fear of the life after this life. Am I good enough to go to heaven? God cleared that up He said in the Bible that His Son, Jesus Christ, is the ONLY WAY to heaven. And since I accepted what He did on the cross, not for what good things I have done, but for the bad things that I have done, Jesus promised me that no one can take my salvation out of His hand. Now, that is what I call SUCCESS and SECURITY. Amen!

Thought Of The Week

“I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

If You Have Good News

When you see, hear, or make news, hear good, funny, and clean jokes, please email your news and jokes to me at cap9296@aol.com, call me at 864-424-9211, mail your news to me at POB 128, Buffalo, or stop me on the street. When you celebrate good things in your life, I would like to share that with the good people of Buffalo. You want to laugh. I want to laugh. So please make me laugh.

Until next week, may God bless you richly.